Footprints in The Sand~

i wan bbq again!!

2010-07-13T04:38:00.001+08:00

Just realized that my blog has died off... And I realized that I haven't blogged for sometime in fact I haven't blogged in a month!! Wanted to share lots of stuff with u guys but apparently after such a long time,
I have totally forgotten what to blog about. -..-'''
I have been busy with school lately. And kinda screwed up again..

I went for cosfest!! Wasn't as fun as I expected it to be but met up with some friends and didn't see some of them... I kinda creeped out at the very last min but Hubby urged me to continue....
We had a mini bbq at the chalet too!!

*crosses my fingers that I dun screw up.*

my costume is so crumpleddd!! grrrr....
So yep here goes:

sheryl, me, sheena so pleased to see them!

I went for streetfest too! And tried on the Sakura Pink lens that i got....
Its comfy and violet! Hmmm whyyyy....
excessive cam-whore. psps

We went to watch Despicable Me too!! Its awefully adorable.

Its so fluffy i'm gonna die!!!

And to end off....

yummy.....

2010-06-06T02:13:00.004+08:00

My com is finally back to me after being so screwed up. I should really be gentle with my stuffs. Oh well...

Have been kept busy with school, help Zhen Ling with her FMP shoot where i became Wonder Woman. Jian and Ah Long with acting for their crowbar as well as its sound and scripting and not forgetting school work school work and school work....

Went for movie with hubby the other day after my haircut....Had a lovely day with love. Puss in Boots is cute.

And i've realized that i'm starting to look more desperate to get things done and worry more than i'm supposed to that i've forgotten to have fun or even to look after myself. Hubby thinks that i'm taking life too seriously. Well, love at least I haven't forgotten to love you...

I suddenly remembered that the road to self learning and discovery is endless and priceless. And loving yourself isn't easy at all....

So here i am continuing this journey where i never really thought i would go- holding this hand of the man whom loved me with all of his heart. There may be setbacks and many other times that i know that people around me will feel like slapping me across the cheek at the way i belittle myself. And i hope i can feel better about myself, others- practically life itself. I'm starting to miss all my girls and I know that i need to meet them soon again... Talked to Doll i think i'm doing C.C on cosfest, day1 on July 3rd

Some cam-lovin....

There isn't anything much for me to write other than the above-mentioned... But...

Does anyone wants IQQU's skincare from Michelle Phan?

Here's the link: http://iqqubeauty.com/index.php/products.html

Since its a flat shipping rate of $8.74

love love

2010-05-06T02:27:00.001+08:00

Dedicated to u...

Thank you for saving me that day with Danny when my heart was broken

Thank you for crying with me when i'm sad

Thank you for helping me everytime i struggle in school

Thank you for always listening

Thank you for always motivating

Thank you for being so patient

Thank you for coming into my life...

Thank you for the daisy on the Top Of The Post. it made me sane and it gave me strength cuz of you.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST

Thank you for carrying me to the hospital when i'm in pain. And trying your best in trying to make everything possible and made me smile

The memo pad couldn't say how thankful am I having you....
As well as Adam and Kit who came and visit and lent us a helping hand;
the people (sch) whom i never thought cared cared for me,
Jinyan whom tries her best to be by my side.

Ash who promised to help us.

Charlene whom always msn to check if im ok.

Debby making sure that i'm fine

Dan for his concerns....

Dr Kee and his staff for their hospitality as well as their much Kindness.

Everyone whom are here to give their love. There's nothing better than having you guys around.

I'll stay strong. People who i've not mention. sorry . >.< (typing this makes me wanna cry...)

I love you. Hubby

and everyone else whom are there for me through this horror....

Had fun at vivo city. Finally got to relax after so long. Played with trolleys (ok im the only one doing it), and sat at the patio at Vivo chatting enjoying each other's company and eating Long John.

Something that we have never done before.

I Cant believe that he went down on one knee at Harbour Front under the stars where there's people around

Though it was the same ring, i never thought that he would be so daring. And it came up as a suprise as well.

I almost cried.

having you, was the best, the saddest, the most rewarding, the most painful thing that has happened.

lil monster

i'm still sad. but i'm staying strong. and i still having troubles sleeping....

the pain got better after taking the panadol.

i need time to accept ~~the loss.~~

credit to...

2010-04-29T04:47:00.002+08:00

Went out with Hubby today.... Settle some stuffs and went shopping around later on...
I guess people needs cheering up in some point of their lives. Hubby got me some stuffs at Far East.
Thank u Love!!~

Hubby got me a bag from Far East cuz he couldnt stand anymore and the old $10 bag looked like it has jus came out from a war zone area after using it for less than a month! Slanted one side, a zip broken and spent $6 extra to replace one side of the leather with a real one. But the other side broke off too. And i had to live carrying a slanted bag for a few months. How pathetic. (and im saying it for everyone to hear great.)

and nt forgetting a perfume he we saw at Body Shop. The smell is strong intiall but as soon as it lingers on a little bit longer, it turns out ok. ^^

Lesson learnt: A cheap bag IS NOT durable.

He too got me a logitech mouse not forgetting a japanese movie called departures. for my bday
cuz the old one spoilt due to
dropping, dragging across the class, smacking and pressing the right click when I piss at my com (which always happened.)

It LASTED FOR 2++ YEARS!! Also a logitech brand (haha awesome right)

as a bday present which i intially thought it had a 3year warranty. I was fooled. sad.

Long expired pictures ... Piles of work loaded up during my DM period. Its not gonna get better. Urrgghhh...
Much added to the stress the serious lag-ness of my com
(its making life difficult for me)

The emotional and psyhical, and financial pain and stress that Hubby and me going to face....

Life is not gonna get better for us the time being. sighs.

Last but no least, I love u.

p.s: i'm freeing you back to the skies, come back again. (i love u)

i had to carry another heavy burden

2010-04-26T01:25:00.002+08:00

"The biggest punishment that anyone could get is to live life in absolute guilt and regret for eternity

and

there's nothing in this world

that is able to console that emotion for all that matters."

-fion

2010-04-25T15:30:00.003+08:00

I've finally changed my blogskin! To something that's with less images and simpler background.

waiting for turn...

Tomorrow is gonna be the day. I feel ripped apart with the emotions inside me. The fear and that feeling of dread. Neither did i dare to cry.... Its gonna be another setback again. And i muz climb back up before i ended up dead. Went to pub on friday but i didnt drink. The sounds of customer's laughter seemed to drowned into me. It feels like i'm the only person feeling terrible. Nothing seemed to have a meaning anymore.

I dyed my hair!! At Monsoon Academy from my friend. The teacher there chose something of my skin colour instead of the one i wanted. Turns out ok. But my hair is completely dried out after that. Sad... >< Does anyone has any recommendations on what leave on hair serums to use?

With an awesome kitty that i named spotty. Hubby found her when he was walking around looking for me and it looked like it was going to rain... He found her meowing away looking hungry, afraid and malnutritioned.

And the only thing that he could find to keep her was some rotton canned food. He then headed back again to get her some shelter at school and proper food as the thunder boomed away... I took her awhile to clam down and play with us. She's super cute.

Likes to meow about everything that i cant understand. Loving and playful too!! We wanted to let her go by calling SPCA but was afraid that they will put her to sleep if no one wants to adopt her by 2 weeks. And finally decided to let her go since we cant keep her.

*note* A 3 tone kitty not very pretty but awefully sweet and not to mention a little timid. Keke... 3 tone kitty will get eaten or abandoned by their parents.

We cant find her now.

I wonder where and how is she now

Random little less than 5 min silly drawing. I grew a little bored at

Burger King Central and doddled it out.Its called the EPIC MEAL do it your way. Shark's done by hubby. hehe.

The one beside is suicide doll by a tree on top on a gate.

on one lonely night... I don't know you create the story

yourself.

Doddled at Mac at Chinatown point while having

Cinammon Melts they taste freaking awesome!!

Thought they are not as pretty as what u see in the photos.

Oh well.

To all my wonderful friends. Thank u all for your love and care. I really need them alot. Its the first time so see so many people so concerned and worried about me.

I guess i'm too caught up in being in my own world to realise that there are alot others out there that are there for me.

LOVE U ALL.

~~hubby, u promised that u wont do/ make me go thru such pain y??~~

2010-04-15T20:21:00.001+08:00

my self esteem seem to go down the drain. I can barely walk out of Ochard Road alive. That kind of feeling is too much for me to handle.... Which to much of an extent that i hate myself. Yea yea.... I'm not the skinnest of the batch. Neither have i been the prettiest of the lot. Or the smartest. Neither am I the one with the most proper etiquette, the classiest among the people I know. Or the best and most fashionable one. And thats' why i made my exsistence ceased in to the outside world. I know my position very well. I don't think i'll put a display picture of myself on facebook for others to see till i feel better.... There's nothing much to say here either.....

i feel like shit..

anyway to all

my sweetie pies

who wished me

Happy Birthday on my

Facebook...

Thank u everyone!!~

So long never post

2010-04-08T01:31:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time since i've posted some stuffs on this crazy half-rotten blog of mine. As far as i'm concerned, i guess i've been gracious enough to ignore whatever that has been said on my tagbox.
(Those who weren't blind are able to see)

Yes, thank you i'm pretty much alive too. And i know that these taggers are anticipating my replies too. ^^
I'm sorry that i'm unable to write down your names cuz' its just simply too many of them. (i think i'm getting more and more popular)

I'm so far honoured to have people which such concern of me destroying my own life or making the same mistakes twice probably even thinking to the extent of me hanging out with people of a lower grade. Maybe u would like to suggest what a lower grade standard person is like when u state that i have alot friends asking me to change?

Were u talking about lower grade people whom have no manners, arrogant people who look down on others as well as brain-less people?

Then again, i tink all people are what i've categorized on above are what every human being has ever done. Need i explain? I guess i should.

no manners- ever recalled throwing a huge temper and tried to be polite. Maybe simpler, have u forgotten to say thank u?

Brain-less- I thought u could read and write?! my my.....

Arrogrance- u sure u havent looked down on someone your whole life?

I guess i happen to know them all.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have more than enough awesome friends in my life. Anyone whom has tried to advice me on something I've always taken them very seriously. This is a democratic world everyone has their free thoughts which i shan't say that evey single path of my life has been the right decisions. I learn to live in them don't i? I mean don't everyone? Indefinately, i've been childish and stupid ( i admit with courage) towards the path i've taken at times and not listen to my friend's advices and u know what? I'm sorry for that.

True friends stick through me thick and thin. So am i to them.

NEED I EXPLAIN MORE?

oh yea... taggers, dun worry about me, i'm having more than enough awesome fun in my life as well as my studies to be dumb to screw up all my stuffs. so dun worry.

FRIENDS, i love u guys! oh yea... a note to u guys, my phone is in hospital anything msn me!~ and for meet ups too! (i know i've been busy sorry sorry) ><

shall update again soon!~

fion

2010-02-22T02:37:00.005+08:00

Childhood jingles filled the air...

Shouts for buyers,

questions are asked,

unfamilar faces passing through.

Curious flashes and funny poses,

dressed in flowers,

sunglasses and hats..

Tainted memories red and gold,

familar dresses from the ancient world.

Icy drinks and cooling lollies,

scent of food floats among

The skies grew dark

As the lights lit by

New year has come

And memories begun

Has been freaking sick for more than 2 weeks with crazy with throat infections and ended up not being able to swallow anything.... not including water or mashed potatos. Though you can say that 7-eleven's mashed potatos are awesomeee..... Oh i cant talk either.... So, i guess its kinda wasted dat i cant eat junk food. And i've also realized Polyclincs doesn't help at all either.... spedning $20 with medicines that doesn't help at all!!! Ended up having to go my family doctor and spending another $38 on medicines... Ahhh.... So many happened lately. Sighs.

I've also realised how much people can change in a year like familar face with unfamilar characteristics... Yet some stayed the same... Ang pao money amount is also the same.... Hummph. Keke.... I suddenly feel so lazyy to blog.... oh there's more pills than these as well... Oh well, Happy VALENTINE'S DAY!!

Had steamboat with Ah Long, Jie, Marcus and Jian as well its always nice to have a good ol' steamboat and a good laugh with close friends. Did something dumb too. Ran in the back boot of long's car and kock my head. I dunnno why i did dat but i'm sure its not on purpose.

Not to forget that i met darren too! It has always been awesome hearing him talk. I miss all that late night chats fun.

Gonna update V Day pictures soon.

I miss all the awesome

Chinese New Year's goodies.

damn!~

2010-02-09T01:35:00.001+08:00

I 'm so so so mad.... And the worst part is that i don't even know what am i mad at... At times, i don't even know myself at all... Much less others... I hate going to school and face others, I hate me...So much so much. I'm so mad when people talk to me. I felt like being alone but then again i don't want to... Neither do i No, im mad at myself more.... i hate being taken for granted.... Going to school these days means torture...

2010-02-02T16:54:00.000+08:00

As the slow music plays among the lonely crowds of orchard, as slow melodious tune filled the air, lovers sat around passerbys walked time felt as if it has stopped at its tracks, trailing off the the almost dreamlike state that when the music stopped what's only left is its silence lingering in the air among that windy evening skies.

It feels as if I've been forgotton by friends. Like i don't exsist anymore. Or that i'm trying to create extinction towards others. I guess the worst part about me is that I've started smoking. What The Hell... I've been feeling really sick recently too.... Those irritating fainting spells are back again... Just stops you from progressing more in your life. And gets people worrying and at times u just cant help to wonder if people would think if its the real thing anot. Sighs. I feel unwanted. By people everything.

Like my future still seemed so bleak after what Mark said about my dreams of doing fantasy art. That smirk on his face; something that i cannot forget for the rest of my life. I know that its a long time since his lesson but.... I cant help it. But yet again, what he says is right I don't even know where and how to start. I cant draw. All i know is to stare at people artworks. Or am i proscratinating? I'm confused. But i do want to prove him wrong. I guess the worst ones is being judged for nt having a sense of urgency even when work has already been done or when u enter the class and the look on people's faces.... WHY? Cause' you're not good enough. And when u badly want to prove them wrong you'll just find it childish to do so.... There's no point stopping how people think of you. What if... This person used to be a friend?

There must be something wrong with me....
Life just cant stop because of someone to improve....
maybe i should jus try harder for me.

my blog will be going under maintenance soon i guess.
the blogskin will be done using drawings that i've done more or less like my portfoilo. I still don't know.
pictures are not up i cant find my usb cable.

xoxoxo
fion

2010-01-05T03:15:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New year! Though its pretty belated to say this now.

I've deleted off my facebook account.
Nigel and me..........
I hate love triangles
Things that are this complex....
hate. hate. hate. hate. hate.

i saw doll the other day hahaha so qiao lor.
and lost the red ribbon dat i bought from lauren on christmas.
its been one hell of a year too.
But not my current blogg.... woots.

i still hearts <3 my blog.

here are some expired awesome pictures that i promised to put up.
my SUCKASS COM is still down. fuck it

Swee Lee tour

the rest need to take from nikkado. haha too tiny cuz i grabbed from FB

Sausage's shoot.
i love the shoot. there's alot.

candid

i love love love the cam lor!

and the watch!

i cant sleep

bb loves.

i feel like gnihsals

craz-ass com

2009-12-23T20:20:00.000+08:00

My com went on an auto-shut off and never revived again two days before my presentation. Including 2 re-submissions.
My mind felt like a total give-up though people around told me not to.
This is irritating.... Even my photography are gone. My thumbnail sketches were missing and i had to re-draw them. This is so uncalled for. And I keep locking myself outta the house. As well as forgetting to bring my phone out. Blame me for the forgetfulness and those torn bags.

I'm half mad.

I wished life hasn't been that complicated. And I wouldn't be so afraid of everything that comes along the way. As well as being indecisive. Yet at times I've realised I have the inability to express how I feel....

And when I wore my specs out today during the day, the colours of life seemed to be playing before my eyes.... That made me feel as if I'm so clouded by negativity to forget how pretty life can be. How much I could do.

Yeah my ass.

gotta go.
pics will be updated soon. I don't even bother excessing facebook man.
-*typed on fren's com*

bye bye casual poet.... you've been my sweetest greatest friend

2009-12-13T19:09:00.003+08:00

I havent been updating for a looonnnggg while now...
Sorry for my procrastinations.
Stuffs been happening.
Good and bad.

Went with Doll to AFA on day 2 that day and i did my fake lashes wrongly!! Which i find it pretty funny. Day 2 could have been better. Especially on day 1 itself
Maybe it was due to that sleepless night previously. Or that i'm just plain ugly....

Thanks to all the photographers that day whom took the interest in taking me. *bows* and the awesome friends i see, and Simon company. ^^

I met Kaname! Sorry doll u didnt manage to take pic with him. Day 2 could have been really better...

here's some....
Day 1....

Simon!

me, nikkado

Nikkado pearl and me

with Nikkado Posing as M. Me, as himegyaru

Day 2

Darren! <3

himerori service hehe nice...

he made me all shy when he did that!

credits to Chris a.k.a Zermine

How to forget Doll?

Helped out my dudes with their photo shoot and stuffs. Had fun!

Sentosa's trip.

Kureshna for the pic

SaYi and fion

Sa Yi's take

The pictures weren't ready till the crazy juniors were done. oh well, its only one or 2 anyway. ^^

there's more to come...
the crazy webcam thing that sets the whole school going.

Ginny's my talk cute partner. Heh. Jay's naturally crazy

and Kenneth the hide shoe BULLY

Jay's jealous.

during adam's shoot I help with makeup. which explains....

yay!

Did a shoot for Sausage too...
Thank you so much! Its an honour to take interest and do the shoot.
I hoped u enjoyed the day as much as i did.
hoped we do could do another one soon!
*hugs*
anyway, here's the sneaks.

Other random ones....

after no sleep

how much i know i love Jack's Place steaks.

Kat's B Day suprise

Presentation

And i thot my expresso is add to my drink

i finished the whipped cream by the way.Heh.

and i realized that I forgot how to blow a balloon....

I've realised that its enough to have one person whom you've met in your life to screw up everything as well as your future and your point of view

And updating my blog takes up the whole damn day...

How much we could enjoy being a kid before the day we set our ass working.
And not to mention that i enjoyed this kind of little life's pleasure before i set off to work and be an working adult.

And I've realised how reading could have added my insights to my point of view to life and people.
How Morrie filled his days up with a good fight to his dying life, and filled his days with people and connecting with them with his heart on days that he's alive. Then, i wonder how many people could achieve that. Then i wonder if i could do that.
To put up with a good fight to whatever that comes along.

If one day i could talk to god. I know i wouldn't pray or ask for anything.
neither do i wanna ask for riches
but understanding and passion.

I've realised that I'm not alone.

I've realised that i'm still strong enough to break away from that guy before something even worse happened to me.

But
I've lost something even more precious. And i'm nt proud.

life silent teachings can at times be too hard to handle...

doll is a chio bu <3

2009-11-19T04:28:00.002+08:00

AGAIN... haven't been blogging in awhile...

But then again i shall talk about the empty streets that i've unseemingly fell in love with.
That i always felt that the hustle and bustle that I was so used to seemed to disappear.
Like a wall that collapsed when we fall out of love
Or
That space in time where the quietest thoughts exists or could as well their most vulnerable time.
yet a space where we cant deny that comfort.

Such melancholy.
Among this world of sanity we try to keep our insanity sane
with every possible reasons we can think up of with such embarrassment.

I'm that culprit
And i'm that victim of that cage of cycle where i put myself so much into.

random doodles in planner

Anyway,
did many stuffs lately. Met some friends didn't meet some.

sweethearts <3

first row. mine, her's, her's

second row. her's, her's and i got the same one too, mine

and she got 2 wallets which cuz she needs one

and her stuffs are practically all over her bag.

hahaha....

mine!! hehehe.

i need them ok~~

and they cost all less than 10!

Met Doll today weee!! Someone become more chio le arhh....
And my costume is here!!!!
But its tad too big. So had to bring to alter and its still gonna make it in time!
I'm still happy.
And we bought makeup at Golden Mile and Bugis!!
Shopping is always great with her!!
with that most honest comments
and knows whats good on you
and joked and laugh around....
Someone who doesn't betray.
ya and my sense of taste is damn bad. y design and i'm taking design?
epic fail.

I tink I'm doing gyaru on day 1
Day 2 CG hope at i dun cos fuck.
Gotta find a way to sneak in....
...
...

I had fun!!!
Haven't gotten my proper makeup in ages....

Ahhh
I become more ah sao le. hahaha.
Should go back to dat old me.
Well, part of it. heh.

I wanna shisha again~~

Random loves:

fion has mochi ice-cream loves

Mango milk ice ^^

the bleah thing

and it comes in a series of...

3 damnit!

flowers for work.... ^^

Sneaks Peeks:

trying out for CG.

imcomplete... i might not even use this colour....
i might do the whole makeup tmr...

costume sent for altering.........

w/o makeup. ^^

And i shall thank the nicest people on my way out on Tuesday

Felicia for helping me do up my blog again. Thanks sweetheart.

That nice guy whom shared his umbrella to shelter that idiotic me and got his whole arm and shirt wet cuz the rain was duper big. And still gave me that big SMILE!! Thank u. If it wasn't for you, i dunno what could have happened to laptop~

The old auntie and uncle that showed and brought me to the place that I was looking for to collect my costume. Despite them talking to their friends at the park.
THANK YOU!

And dat uncle from Golden Mile,
i regret not telling u this cuz u r that auntie's customer,
u suck ass
u're fucking fat
and
drinking your beer away on a wednesday afternoon... Don't you have any job to do?
And your recommendation suck.
Just because I'm a thai-chinese.
And you're fucking rude.

And that drunk uncle that stalked me.
Thanks for making me more afraid when walking back home
idiot.

ps. im still feeling faint-ish.....

2009-11-05T05:22:00.004+08:00

Sorry for not blogging in awhile
been busy with friends and school. Then realised its been fun having them around. Chatting, meeting up and laughing and having a whale of a time.

did i mention that i fell in love with my planner? Nothing goes wrong in there.
Writing does makes a person remember.hehe.
And losing my ability to have any emotions or whatsoever. And i guess, the only time i cried was when watching My Sister's Keeper and regretted severely after that...

At times, it feels as if im going against my sanity,
where a sense of time dat I feel like disappearing
my past. does it matter to u when it doesn affect ur future?
It affects mine to the max,
turned my perfect life to the dumps.

there's a million and one people in this world that i knew i owe an explanation to for disappearing for dat whole 2 yrs. for making them worry and filled their hearts with wonder, where did she go??

And an explanation to tell people briefly what had happened to me. What's my story? My story is something u dun wanna hear and I don't wanna talk about.
It's not funny. Laugh at Mr Bean being an idiot mind u.

I'm still traumatised. i cant stop thinking about it.

u,u,u,u.... always think that i'm not faithful. But all my life i love u the most. and u know the most. u shouldnt.

i really want these burried forever....
people should be killed from knowing so much.
my past doesnt/ will not affect ur future.

-the reason for covering my eyes and prayed dat the reality doesnt hurt this way.

Ya, love doesnt happen. There isnt such a thing as love unless its god

OH! and did i mention dat i've finally gotten the chance to watch the movie Coraline?! weeee!~

Here are the pictures anyway...
im gonna bombard u u u u u.....

Ah jie's bday

jinyan, eliza,ah jie, me

my "famous fuck face"

Modelling for Kelly:

Prawnning and movies

before going out

ZH and me

Made shaun tagg along too~

Hahaha Kai Bin's prawn lol.

pretended its mine. LOL...

Behind, jie, kin fei

and kai bin drinking water~

small catch.. siiannn... haha~

my eyes.... red when home...

so is the other side nw...

dat contact lens!!~

Suddenly realised dat i forgot to take pics with Ah Jie!!~

ahhhh....

great thanks with the help for the colours~

prabu's zhng bike.

has been my stress relief,

having u, dude to be noisy around me doesn't make me feel alone anymore.

i could thank ur craziness.

thanks for helping out in making me smile too dude

u're my bro, the man arh!!

this roundabout life that makes me caught in between,

those fleeting moments of happiness are like a ferris wheel,

like a silent moments of a haunted house,

loneliness like a kind getting lost,

teacup dizzy game of love,

and a journey like a horse,

a stretch of road back home like disappointments,

the road home of anticipations and hope

and the sun set of promises.

we are only on our own circus game

or that stretch of road dat brings u-turns

ending at where we wanted it to be.......

gotta sleep my eye is turning half blurred...

ta-gar-ra-task-kei-tei

this and that

2009-10-23T17:50:00.003+08:00

Yeah yeahh... I know that I havent been blogging in a while...

And I've realised its weird to know how life has been going on like a

Dejavu' repeating itself. Only happened to see situations to be better. Settled my problems myself and bla bla bla... Its weird. And i didnt think I liked it. Not becuase I had to face them myself. But I didnt know where can I end up at this time round.

i love the feeling of going out without make up on my face.

bare and nice. Oxygen flows in and out.

and i dun even need to worry about anything. ^^

mochi ice-cream in mouth...

romatic brown contacts.

a series of cam-whore pictures as follows:

imaginary bf LOL.

retarded.

when u finish something nice and icy cold then finishing plate will give

u a smile for appreciating it. haah.

Been hanging out with Wei Wei and Debby these few days.

Had fun with them at Sakae Sushi with Debby and wei wei, and the movies too.

My contacts dropped halfway while talking to them and they burst into laughter wondering y i didnt realise in the first place. Hmm... Funny laa...

Love the way the did 500 Days of Summer the concept, the pages as they filpped by... Allowing the audiences to follow like pages of the book, understanding the movie in a whole new interesting way...
Debby, Wiwi sorry to trouble u guys with the wacom money. I shouldn't have forgotten in the first place.

ice blue makeup.

ya ya i know is totally different but who cares?

Helped kelly with her modelling schoolwork photoshoot. Its fun. Sorry that I couldn't think up of more ideas. My bad. >< Too bad it was abit blur too. Sorry that U had to re-take darlings...

Met up with Doll darling too! Bought a ring for her and she got me her clothes. I can wear them suprisingly.
Rina got a hamster and named him OL. its an awesome cutest thing on earth. Shall upload some of the pics she took. Heeee....

oh, and i zhng my planner DOT COM DOT SG. haha

from this...

to....

too gaudy and too off...

this.!

MY WCOM LOVES!~

chio-er than LV or prada man....

happyy

inside.... ahhhh

underneath...

alot of effort made to make the packging of this chio product. weee!~

gift from dad.

Off going to Si Jie's bday parttayy!~

shall upload pics of dat soon.

To him:

i wished dat we were back together again.

if only there's one last chance with one another, i would wanna make things right again

if i mess it up this last time. im nt gonna cry.

i u only read this.

2009-10-15T03:23:00.004+08:00

sleepy little an an. she has sinus at nite super cute. my fave little thing.

she loves it when i rub her fuzzy cheeks and head

as she sleeps.

i cant get past me.
so many voices in my head.
you can do it... you cannot do it...
so many people helped. thank you.

anyway i shall let the pictures do the talking....

i feel fat

wiwi still the normal one..

dats more like it. haahaha

jealously... heh.

suprise!!!

the girls at TCC.

My new fave place man!! TCC at Raffles. with couches that when u sit and have a problem getting up and all. But TCCs always seem to be so cold. And the prices all so ex. Can die. I guess its a place to go when u feel rich. hahaha. Did i mention dat Debby bought for me the straw hat? Thanks love!!!

So those were snapshots of us losng ourselves at TCC.

At times, its nice losing that princess procelain doll look with friends whom cry and laugh and stone with you... Oh wait...

I dunno if I have achieved da look first yet... Hime hime.. heee...

I know I know... my hands look awkward in this pic.

drank more than I was supposed to yesterday and I don't think I have drank that much beer in my life either... Its like letting lose of myself. Though I didn't make a fool outta myelf but still.... I'm embarassed.

it feels as if the more i drink, the better i feel. and i wanna keep losing this feeling. Yet i dun wanna run away. I've been drinking too much. I should really really stop...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lost

haunted trees

and whispering trunks,

ripples of water and chatter of birds.

Losing myself where sanity were sung,

I run and hide till i could no more.

i want you. come back. come back.

at times i know dat u will

at times i know that u wont. you know that I'll wait right?

there's always a U-turn and I'm aways there waiting.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are we?

Are we living in shells that are filled with goals and heartaches. challenges and falls?

And if we are so,

What does these goals made of? Stone for us to stumble and fall?

And love that are questions and a mystery to my minds?

Are we then the stone itself to forget what are we living for?

And the materials of the society that deprives us from our happiness?

Can I one day cover my eyes and face one day to see my shell of harshness towards life

And pain towards tears.

Or is it beautiful in the old men's saying?

Or is it only to my imaginations?

Can my camera see the beauty beyond the beauty of simplicity?

Or is it simplicity itself could kill you from what you have?

Are we still alive to have to face this war every single day?

Does living really means to fight?

Can I close this shell of reality?

Is this what i make of to see what it is?

Do i know what am I talking about?

Do you know what am i talking about?

At the crossroads of life

Where the end is nothing that we worked hard for.

Yet every decision made is diamonds to the future

The mistakes of the past are decisions of the future a responsibility for tomorrow. How do I make that happen?

My eyes might not see the truth

Illusions might not be a lie.

My mind might not say what I want

My heart might not feel my mind.

I might not speak what I think

I think might not be how I feel

The fact may not be the best

It is might be what my mind wants it.

Like,

It is dark because there's an absence of light. - Albert Einstein

Then,

There are lies because there is absence of fact is it not?

Or

There’s lies beyond it there's a truth

There’s an answer in something that we believe in?

Therefore,

An illusion?

We are in a circle round-about of life.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That I do not want to be in.

2009-10-10T03:48:00.000+08:00

aya kato's most recent 2009 works.

Evolving Moment

a moment when mind reunites the body

i am alive at the moment

i have evolved at the moment

the moment of life.

Nothing much these days except for being sad and sick as well. My chest hurts like crazy and i'm back to puking again. And whenever I talk my chest will thump even harder. Which makes talking hard. And cuz I'm always puking, my gastric always hurt. I don't even really dare to eat man. Making friends with the toilet bowl I must say.

And I was crazily late for class today too. 1/2 an hour? Hmm... Managed to sign the attendence at the very last minute. *phew*

Today:

Fion sneaks into class: creaakkk.... goes the door

head pops in (shit he better nt see me though i know he will)

Lecturer shouts: FEAR!!! FEAR OF BEING LATE FION!! and laughs die. Kenna again.

Yesterday:

Lecturer: showing slides on lesson then say I wan everyone to close your laptop and listen to my class

Fion: Siann... -..-

Lecturer: shows notes up

Fion: typing away... *tap tap tap* goes then... *blink blink* orange light comes out MSN!!! chat yay!!

then starts chatting and typing notes ( i can multi task man)

Lecturer: FION!!! are u chatting or typing down what I've shown?!!!

Fion: Er... Er... I... Er... typing down notes. (thought: lucky i can multi task)

Lecturer: U show me what you've done at the end of the class...

*smacks head*

no not proud of it either. ahem. he didnt check in the end.

But what danny said is true. It's not fear of being late. It's fear of being marked absent. LOL at that.

New phrase!!

I touch the clouds to only feel the rain.

Met Wiwi and Debby yesterday at my fave cafe. I love love love love it! I've linked their blog link too. Who can not LOVE casual poet cafe? And them?

with blue.

rose tea...

And DOLL TODAY!!!

its a couple keychain hunney you know you cant deny it!

she's got the white and I've got the black.

cant camwhore cuz idiots in front of us were staring like we are from sme outter space.

staring and whipering something to one another.

i muz have looked horrorfic.

Happy dat u like ur belated bday prezzie! Cant wait for all the cosplay to be done!!!

And cut my fringe too. The way the guy cut was so careful and nt to mention slow andi kept wincing with fear that he will dig my eyes out. And he accidentally poked my eyelids still. Not to mention when he intially combed down all my hair before cutting imaginations of doing stupid thing came busting into my mind. like giving him a BOO!! acting ghosts and bla bla bla makes me wanna bust out laughing but i cant. Doll u know la uh.

DOLL!! I LOVE U!!

Met a couple of friends today. Hahh. I'm so popular. Yeah puke man.

met elaine

met carmen

met ginny

at the same place.

yeah btw....

there's a deal in getting a wacom for a cheaper price if we are getting in bulk. The minimal amount is 10 sets. The dealer hasn't got back to us on how much is he planning to sell but I'll try to let you guys know earlier ok? I've currently got 2 interested buyers. But its definately gonna be cheaper.

Excluding me cuz I had to ask Daddy King. Hmm... I dunno if I should get. Cuz i should first get a goal in my life. Is filming what I really want? Photography? Digital painting? Animation?

Filming...

first off, i'm not in the correct course for that

Photography...

started off with camwhoring then....

and with a good camera and loads of money, as long as you get the expensive equipment, you can do great deal with them... then...

like dat lor...

what do you expect me to say after dat?

Digital painting and concept art

interest but no basics. Must have a good foundation in that do. portiat drawings and stuffs. My colour concept must be good too.

Animation

i took that course earlier on then continued it. To have a better future in this you must first got to squeeze into a good school like e.g. fengzhou. its not going to be my turn in the first place. The best of the best.

always inspired to do it.

oh well. i need to get what i want right by end of this week.

so i wouldn't regret why the rush? Set the goal do it right and start practising. ^^ and by the time i graduate, i'm mastering it. I've only got one year to master and a few months to find a major. Gotta think. hard! Sighs...

But I fell in love with this:

my wrk

i love this kinda work. ^^

some artist did this. I "cope" from elaine's fb account.

i dunno what's the guy's name

And the pics i helped my friend to do in her art direction project:

no i'm nt naked.

I've stopped all my facebook games cuz i was sitting at home, emoing the whole day and waiting for my game life to me up makes me realise I've been wasting my fucking life away doing this. And thus decided to quit. Its been getting into my of school work. So. i guess its kinda been the right choice.

MY BLOG CAN ONLY BE VIEWED properly IN FIREFOX

OR SAFARI not in IE.

aiya....

imy.

cya.

2009-10-08T01:25:00.004+08:00

i never wanted that much things to happen to me. At least problems are toned down now. I never meant be your burden. Sighs.

Met up with debby wiwi and si jie. Sighs girls girls girls... The cafe didnt open today! So disappointed!

The cafe, my broken heart and friends.

Yesterday was orientation and bbq at school the usual stuffs. No pics. Met Ah Blue at nite. Chatted with him. Thank you so for being there too!

Now now something dat i thot of when ah long and me planning for a film. Well, its more on my thoughts.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Agree with me

Have u ever thought?

With so many people rushing through your life everyday

People on the bus, sitting in front of you seemed to have a destination in life

And yet alone in your own caged heart, u seemed to be sitting somewhere, a bus, a taxi or sitting at a park waiting for something

Do you seemed lost with nowhere to go or no destination to stay in.

Are there people who thought the same way as you do?
Or
Is it just you and your imaginations?

Birds that fly butterflies that flutter

Do they know where are they going?

Or are they just as lost?

or under their busy lives like people we see did not realise?
Is it me that is under my own turmoil that my time had seemed to stop my world and my nights and days only to feel black and white change to greyish matters.
Are flowers the only beauty that blooms and whiter leaving memories of beauty and yet not time?

Are hand held so tightly let go is to feel love?

Has life always been too late to realise?

Have u seen beyond my phrase?

And view stars beyond the imaginary?

Have u touched the skies only to feel the rain?

Have u fallen to feel the pain

Have u felt my eyes

Just as lost as you didn’t know?

THINK.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

touch the skies only to feel the rain.

lets make a film!

2009-10-06T04:16:00.005+08:00

taking this in the middle of the damn street is pretty scary

another one of my fave view. on a hazy foggy day

i wished there isnt that much cars and ppl parked on the street.

dan. on a rainy day waiting to do our radio commercial playing with natural lightning. ^^

ya i know my blog dp.

overexposed and checking if im getting any fatter.

check. =(

BUT hey! i'm taking this using one HAND dude!

malaysia's J'CO at city plaza

i loveee my cam!

love love love

no. not smiling.

i need to be strong.

i dun wanna lose u either.

and i hope dat u and me will be back.

i dunno what i else i should do anymore.

thank u guys for believing in me.

motivating me all the way during these hard and crazy times. And its been incredibly just as crazy for you guys. Helping me with my work, telling me to have fun at the same time too. Thanks for being with me on this crazy roller coaster. For listening me cry, whine and pushing me to go further in this term, i thought i would need to remodule, and staying up in school motivating me through them all even though u guys feel tired too.

Sheikh

Dan

Danny

Kenneth

Wiwi

Debby

Felicia

Darren

Jun Jie

Jen

Peiling

and many many others.

OH!

and i forgot little Bobby who kept me busy as fuck, irritated and frustrated like fuck and erm... waste all my time and energy to not think of anyone else but little Bobby himself.

and my tiny photography trips.

helping Ah Long Zai with his film

Dan with his as well...

makes me realise that i actually enjoyed the process of filming too. (nt being in the film i mean)

went on a crazy trip to malaysia too okayy i know i "stole" my passport frm my mum's cupboard. and saw a pool of blood on the floor at the alley to malaysia's immigration's counter. SCARY~

got my essential oil incense. nicee... its pretty ex in SG i guess so got it there.

which makes me look fat.

donut icing on my chin. heee.

i love that flavour

and the drink

my camera's memory stick cant work. I dunno why keeps asking me for reformatting. so irritating. there goes my stuffs man. -..- but i didnt take much either so oh wells. but there's some cam-whore images if ya' don't mind. Hmm...

i've passed every damn shit in the previous module. and still much much more to go.

till i have a chance to prove myself. no nt myself. but my future.

Suyi,

if u ever read this, i dunno wad else to say.

or why u feel/ think this way.

u r forever my friend and i dun understand why u do this to me.

anyway

i've been searching high and low for u.

as long as u are fine. i'm happy jus hearing that.

Knowing you is like having a big NANA by my side.

Love ya girl.

nt feeling well these freaking day. cried for a few freaking hours and my head is bursting cuz of headache. and flu so i cant breathe. my basecodes are not doing well. cuz i HATE scroll bars. and cant have the entire view shown properly. sighs. changing it soon. i'm adding additional stuffs to dat girl i;ve drawn. people who knows it will know.

since im not feeling that well, i think i need more holidays.

ya right. I need to think of an idea for 3d i tink im gonna suck. fuck.

i couldnt stop hurting.

i couldnt stop lovin you.

i'm still waitin.

cuz i believe in wad i hear.

behind at the back of my head.

me,you,my personal connection with god.

i'm god's sheep.

2009-09-30T22:34:00.004+08:00

to dat someone whom i really loved.

I will be

by Avril Lavgine

There's nothing I could say to you

Nothing I could ever do to make you see

What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried

Still you never said goodbye

And now I know how far you'd go

I know I let you down

But it's not like that now

This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want

And get myself together

'cus you keep me from falling apart

All my life

I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything okay

I thought that I had everything

I didn't know what life could bring

But now I see, honestly

You're the one thing I got right

The only one I let inside

Now I can breathe 'cus you're here with me

And if I let you down

I'll turn it all around

'cus I will never let you go

I will be all that you want

And get myself together

'cus you keep me from falling apart

All my life

I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything okay

'cus without you I can't sleep

I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave

You're all I've got

You're all I want

Yeah

And without you

I don't know what I'd do

I could never ever live a day without you

Here with me do ya see

You're all I need

And I will be all that you want

And get myself together

'cus you keep me from falling apart

All my life (my life)

I'll be with you forever (forever)

To get you through the day

And make everything okay (okay)

I will be all that you want (I'll be)

And get myself together (get myself together)

'cus you keep me from falling apart

And all my life

You know I'll be with you forever

To get you through the day

And make everything okay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNpNp13SiNI

2009-09-30T14:26:00.001+08:00

After much crazy proscinating... I managed to stop crying (ya i know... again..-..-)
and continue to do bobby. Other than going to Ikea for my noticeboard and meeting up with
Angel at Bugis hand her her stuffs, and i cancelled the rest of my appointments with the others to stay in school to rush.
I havent been to anywhere other than that other than school for my FLASH which i redo them freaking 11!!! TIMES for the past horrid horrid weeks to a mth and back to do him on a freaking holiday.
not proud to say it.

trying out different styles/ kinds of makeup

bear with me abit for the cam-slut pictures some are up on FB already.

and i liked neither.

Film results was super disappointing. Only a Pass. But..

Lost it at the software part.

The story itself doesnt need editing. Straightforward point and filmed in a very straigthforward manner too.
Damn.

nt proud to say dat either.

I think i'm going onto an dissappearing act soon
not where near home. for a day or two.then again, i'll see how things go.if its up to my budget, i'll go.
Contridictary.
but i promise,i'll be safe for the time being i guess.
suicide wouldn't come so soon.but soon enough.but this time round, i'm gonn take loads of awesome pictures.
promise.

changing blogskin soon

2009-09-26T16:41:00.005+08:00

Had been super busy these days with school school school school... And havent been able to meet anyone including Angel dat day. So does Wiwi... or anyone...

i'm Super sorry!! I think I'm turning into a nerd which i terribly enjoy...

But then again, i feel jus as upset.

And at times i dunno what am I working so hard for.

Neither do I know how my future lies. I'm pretty scared acutally.

i feel unhappy. Without him.

The vids are done!! All the filming with the others my own ones...
Were really fun.
I might post it up. I might not. It depends on the directors!!
Hee...
Sound assignments are done too.
Only left with Bobby. sighs...

I bought a softboard!!
in the silly makings of my inspiration collage wall!!

wore hime kind of clothes yesterday to ikea with a half swollen mouth... Erm... It looks hime to me. well, I don't know.

urrghhh.
i think im going to change my style of makeup to something more hime soon.
Or so i think. Havent been answering most of phone calls these days too. I dunno why. I'm just so... Sighs I don't know how to explain either.

more pics will be uploaded soon of my little half-crazed ikea trip

and my crazy dye-ed hair using the new Lisese/ Lisse hair dye i forgot the spelling in
Chiffon Beige!! I've forgotten to check the difference in the box colour and my hair. But it was pretty dried out after the colouring but the colour really comes out!!

*happy*
it was pretty painful tingly kind of sensation and the foam doesn't finish no matter how much u use it! Super hilarious.

Oh, I've found my dream cafe too!! I thought they wouldn't have one like this SG.

A cute cafe, that:

sells
interesting photography booklets
and old books
sofa and chilled with an air-con
cov-ey feeling as you enter. hmm.. you know the orange lightnings with perfect cozy furniture and bean bags and stuffs.
a place where i can study for the whole day!!
hold gigs

but its opened from 3pm-11pm. sad.

not 24 hrs!! arrggghh

p.s. u may nt believe me. but wad i said to u is true. i cant prove it cuz u're nt with me.
there's nth to lie about. a do nt have u. y wont u be back?

2009-09-16T14:40:00.002+08:00

I've come to realise

(taken from wiwi's blog)

1. I've come to realize that my hair:• Look like auntie

2. I've come to realize that when I talk:• I sound stupid

3. I've come to realize that all I really need:• cash

4. I've come to realize that I've lost:• Close friends,myself and ...

5. I've come to realize that I hate it when:• I cry. When I'm broke, when people made fun of me

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk:• I cant sleep

8. I've come to realize that money:• is essential

9. I've come to realize that when I get old:• I will Be thrown in an old age home

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be:• a boring and useless person

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on:• Koda Kumi

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried was:• i dunno i try hard nt to...

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone:• was given by darren!

14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:• What's the bad thing that is going to happen next?

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night I:• sighs

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:•my flash

17. I've come to realize that my life:• A journey i dun wanna walk anymore.

18. I've come to realize that my favourite drink is:• Milk ( LOL! same as wiwi) and baileys

19. I've come to realize that today I will:• Meet Angel to hand her her clothes.

20. I've come to realize that tonight I will:•I sleep late again

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:• I will do my schwork

22. I've come to realize that I really want to:• leave this place.

23. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is:• Hahaahahah WIWI i reposted this!! heheh

24. I've come to realize relationships are:• Swords that pierce through your hearts ripping u with an open wound to bleed.

25. I've come to realize that love:• are just lies...

26. I've come to realize my best guy friend(s):• is Kelvin? lol!!

27. I've come to realize my best girl friend(s):• are Happy?

28. I've come to realize food is:• are the best things is the world and its irresistable.
29: I've come to realize that this summer:•Is long and tiring
30. I've come to realize heartbreak is:• the last thing i ever wanted it to be.

31. I've come to realize that the last person i liked:• Him

33. I've come to realize that crying:• Is a relief

34. I've come to realize that death:• can be blown out like a candle

35. I've come to realize that if I'm sick:• no one bothers

36. I've come to realize when I'm bored:• I will stone

and there's isnt a question 32!!!

im always affected affected affected... shit.
thank u for the thumbdrive. Its really a suprise...

Welcomed Valerius to Singapore and went out with him to buy 3 different packets of
Salt and Vinegar Chips!!! hahaha You are gonna fall sickk taking all that!! >.<
Gonna hand Angel her clothes later on. Hee..
Then, study at the libary?
i dunno wad i did these few days. sorry.
no pics taken today either.
upset.

2009-09-13T04:33:00.017+08:00

Had achievement today again!

*happy*happy*

took some pictures

liked one of them then edited the rest...

helped Ah Long gor Ah Jie's Bf with his work had fun with filming. Oh wells, i've always liked acting!! Hehe...

Thanks for treating me today man. Treat u and Ah Jie back next time!

Then went Coscafe and met up with Darren as usual to have coffee and i drank 2 cups and i'm still feeling sleepy.

Sad life.

But managed to do quite alot today. Filming was fun despite the god-forsaken weather!

Debby flew off today. I'm gonna miss her. Lots and lots and lots. And worry too.

Wiwi!! Next week okiie!!??

I SWEAR that im gonna work doubly hard when continue to the next module. I hope that there's no other bomb dat's gonna fall onto me. I wont be able to take it.

Wanna go wild wild wet with WENDY!!

New pics coming up on my wall.... Took off the old ones, and cover them with the sands of time.

If only i could ask my dad to sponsor me a softboard the Ikea kinds to hang on my wall, it would be

WEEEEEEE!!!~~~~ a photographer's room baby!

KURO-SAN WENT

MISSNG!!

trying out the camera phone Darren handed to me. thank u so much!!! weeeee!!!~

im feeling crazily lame today.

Ah Jie also kenna from me. Poor thing. -.-

i keep forgetting abt the baby shoes pic i had to take...

and my premire is acting CRAZY!!

- i need to tell myself dat people will only want me if im the best.

im not sastified with me.

Oh ya a little update on the pic helped kelly for her assignment.

so much so, a sudden way to end my this stupid entry... get well soon.

2009-09-12T02:16:00.006+08:00

place: Yanti coffeeshop's table. it was raining. outside.

if only water fell onto this droplet and i managed to take both water hitting together, awesome...

oh well, im happy with this too.

Did u watch brainac? Heh.

I had an accomplishment today...

Took a good photo!! Super proud of it! Hahaha...

lucky shot actually. Weee!!

Met debby the other day. She's still sad. Poor thing. I'll miss her when she go back indo. Sighs. One less company on the weekdays. Oh well, got Wiwi... Hahaha. WIWI!! I havent take pic with u yet uh!! So is Wendy, So is felicia. Hahaha.

I think I need a good book for me to get through my travelling time.

I'm tempted to read The Time Traveller's Wife before even watching the movie or something.I think i'm going to die reading it. I think its gonna be sad, i'm gonna cry and Or probably some other book like Night Train To Lisbon. How many times have i said to fall in love with this book?!!!!!! Darren is gonna help me hand the book to JL ,hope he loves it as much as I do... Then its Darren turn to read the book. Heee...

GUYS! Enjoy the book, and enjoy the journey it takes u through and have fun aggreeing/ or debating with urself if he's in the right or if he's in the wrong. Its a slow book with a disappointing ending.

Today i've realised something...

People cannot fall for me. Its like calling for trouble. I'm weird. And fuck myself up in everyway. Though im not trying to right now. I'm super upset. I shouldnt appear. I wish i could jus disappear into the thin air. Just *poof!!* like that and leave the happiest memories. I miss Suyi. and my com is lagging. Nabeiis

Sorry for the vulgularties... I'm jus emo.

God. Walk me through this please?

Give me strength??

Teach me what to do and make me learn from it.

Since when i've started to put my emotions writing a blog?

Shit back to dat old post kinda shit. Wanna cry. And the tears should stop.

Cleared off the pictures dat i've put up onto my wall a few years back

like pictures of

friendships, pictures of me, and things around,people i love, memories of the fun i used to have,pictures that remind me how i've drowned like shit,

taking them out without emotions seemed like the stone that has been washed up onto the shore where the pictures seemed to lay onto the ground then dissolving into the sand transiting into footprints.

Here, i remember the people i've hurt, the tears i've cried,the laughter dat ive used to have, the swims i've made to make it through in the storms of the seas, the times when i fell inside and couldnt come out, the people whom cared, still cared, stopped caring, started caring, the people who worried,im sorry.

like sand along the oceans i wish to disappear. blogger is crapping up again so, currently no pics. and now after all these, im back to the storm. But i'm gonna start a new collage wall again. Things will not remind me of THE STALKER. Or anything else.

example of an collage wall

The next pictures i'm gonna put up are photos i took... hopefully to motivate me to take more pictures jus to add to the collection of my collage wall.

I'm hurting the world. And just thinking like dat makes me feel like edicius

I realised y i cant update with pics and stuffs... I forgot to click check on my settings with the updated editer. -..-

user user user user problem. nothing wrong with blogger something's wrong with me... Really its....

-..-"" lor.

no pics of me!! i shall update agaiin soon! Kinda in a rush in this current update.

2009-09-08T02:20:00.005+08:00

I was right.

There's a storm today. Ultimate bad.

Sians... I really want life to be better.

wishes to come true,

hopes becomming better

teardrops to stop falling....

bla bla bla

Eliza's bday... My eyes closed foundation too white. Crap.

Meeting Felicia darlings tomorrow i tink.

I'm going to redo bobby. I dunno if i can finish him and this animation and as well as the rest of the poject. Its time. To take pride in my works. At least when i look at them, i wouldnt go thinking that... Oh that?Aiya i anyhow do one... Doesnt reflect well on myself either...

Did something that took me alot of courage to do... was to... heh. I'm not going to tell unless i get into it! Just getting selected can make me fly~~~~

I hope i can get into this If i do, i could sing the song I believe i can fly~~~

I hate this sucky feeling of wanting to die. I dun wanna depend on medications either. I dun wanna wake up every morning thinking that something bad would happen either. Darren getting to know u is awesome!! heart filled with worry worry worry. I dun wanna retake this sem.

Rain. rain. rain. rain. soften the harsher things in life.

like teardrops from god,

like how my heart breaks,

like how flowers keeping their beauty with raindrops

like dew, filled with softness

and rain rain rain rain

shows how vulernable in we are.

Seeking shelter.

And i've realised something about flowers dat made me love them even more...

so beautiful.

yet knowing their life is short,

dewdrops like their tears,

yet, so graceful

as if living life to their fullest

as they gracefully withers away leaving memories of their beauty and their strength...

BRYAN'S BDAY

frm left: Middle guy BRYAN

2nd row: Jason, Andy, Si Jie, Jinyan, Eliza

3rdRow: David, Li Ming, Joe & GF, Katherine

need me to say where the fuck am i? heh.

Yeah yeah... we are girls and girls take alot of pictures!!

Met up with people I havent seen in ages. But some didnt come over as well.

And ended up at at night at Coscafe for BAILEYS can u resist this drink?

I guess i should try it with the milk mixers next time...

i'm feeling super itchy hand to open my bottles. Hehehehee

DEBBY! i'm sorry. If my words are too harsh.

Super sorry.

girls loves flowers

2009-09-05T10:36:00.012+08:00

For all the things dat happened recently, i shall randomly jus say dat some pics are up... The shity pics of my face... Like there's anyone interested... And i hope dat blogger will freaking go back to normal... So does life...

So, there's:

Stephan's cook out. It was awesome!! And I seriously hope dat i can get my Fables Cover Artbook signed by the artist James Jean. And pray dat shipping fees wouldn't cost me a bomb! Cook out was awesome! So does Stephan's collection of COMIC ART!!! Thanks Darren for bringing me there. You're the MAN!

School's event young designer's award. Congrats to the dudes who won! and dat day of fun. Though i went there to vote once...

Stayed over in school to do school work. and having those fucking rashes all over... And still a million more to go...

Eliza's Bday- the ultra blessed her at her chalet. with tons of prezzie and a bouquet of lily for her. frm me and Jinyan. Met up with secondary sch dudes.

i look fat. WHYYYY???

flower girl loves liz lisa cuz its FLOWERRRRSSS!!!
too dark...
and we did it the secondary school way
retro okay?!

Debby's bday... With a tear-stained her and sunflowers and bday cakes for her and her poor tearry stained face. DEBBY BE HAPPY!! (ooh it rhymes!)

Helping Kelly with her modelling shoot for her assignments. I hope things go well for her.

Helping Carmen and Jessie with their modelling shoot for assignment as well. U guys will get a distinction man!!

Met up with Felicia darlings to hand her the webcam and seeing her so happy... Lets meetup again soon kayys? I hearts U!! U look prettayyy!! should dress like dat more uh...

Later on to Bryan's Bday... and meet up with even more classmates... Sighs...

not particularly happy with my life and im still feeling suicidal... and im still unhappy and stressed.

lost and still feel alone,

i realise dat i need god.

i should stop crying.

i should this.

i should that.

i should work harder.

i should be happier.

i should stop drowing myself in pity

i should let things be and stop thinking of what if's

i should be stronger

i should stop cutting

i should stop.

i should stop being so suicidal.

though im stupid, though i've messed myself up so much dat i look like a town that's just gotten hit by tusami. I should stop continuing this way.

isnt this wad people whom care about me wanted to hear?

i should just stop.

but... what if???

Yes... there's so much "buts" and "what if's" inside me.

im 21.

And i'm still acting like im 12.

im stil struggling with living

Yes ppl whom care are thinking... THANK-GOD FION!! FINALLY!

Among all these silly blog entries that I have. I guess this is my first and only serious entry that I had.

HOW MOTHER-FUCKING LONG AM I STILL GONNA CUT?

How much more does my dad has to spend for me to get trough my education?

How long more do i wanna screw myself up cuz of one bloody relationship?

Shit. Life is nt a fairytale.

i've woken up, i realised dat i've been dreaming for too long of a time.

Then, when i dream. People WISE PEOPLE has been using that time to get ahead of me...

and what am i doing?

Picking up that shit ass time that i've lost and feeling sorry for myself...

And i know that its not helping. There's no such things as a old me, real me or a new... I keep thinking that I should change but all these while, im wrong too!

I should change my thinking instead. If im not messed up, would i allow people to mess me up? Turning back time wouldnt help if im still thinking the way i did.

Things seriously doesnt work this way

This time, i really i tell myself, thank god fion finally...

and i know these are the things that everyone has been trying to tell me all these years.

And im not crying when im typing this post.

With a clear mind.

things are changing.

And change might be good this time...

i hope.

p.s: if i could, i'll post up the modelling pics dat Carmen and Jessie took for their art direction assignment...

Boom and ZL looked awesome!!

wahaha...

there's a First time for everything.

with all these events and people around me there's tears in between,

first time for being dat heartbroken.

first time going an extra mile with school.

first time to realise how FUCKED UP I AM...

p.s. p.s: im still afraid dat bad things is going to happen when i wake up.

cuz i know dat waves are quiet before the storm.

2009-09-02T21:51:00.000+08:00

the tears can drown me to death.

2009-08-31T13:21:00.003+08:00

i'm meeting up with debby girlfriend later... super worried. if someone, wants to be in a relationship with someone, i really think that they should intially consider the other party level of hurt before really going into it if u cant commit, cant take stress bla bla bla... dun go around hurting. find a one night stand. dun kill a person with a true heart.
____________________________________________________________________

Alot of shit happened...
Im so tired. and upset on how things actually turned out...
till i dunno wad to say anymore.
BLOGGER IS STILL HAVING ISSUES

Have u heard a story of balloons?

2009-08-30T19:03:00.000+08:00

With so many mother fucking nonsense that i've been having each day gets me really tired.
wih simple - complex problems like:

Facebook is having fuck-ed up problems
so is my com which cause my com NOT LET MY msn TO WORK (which im unable to go online)
so is my relationship
My BLOG problems which enable to me NOT POST ANYTHING UP
No CASH cuz of my work problems and not even able to work cuz i cant catch up with school work

i feel like having steamboat!

guys.guys.guys. they make girls cry all the time. and they'll continue do so happily...

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Rain.
Made everything so much softer,
Arms feels so much warmer,
Cuddles so much sweeter,
Kisses even more addictive,
Stop and gaze,
As raindrops falls,
i remember so much tears
i fall so much more in love
as
time to go on so much more slower...

BLOG REVIVE!

2009-08-27T22:59:00.000+08:00

BLOG REVIVE!

Been god-damned busy these days with sch wrk and all... I dunno how am i going to survive during the holidays... I think im going to be dead lonely too... Sighs but i think i'm alright now. And a little much stronger too... But i'll still be waiting for him... Sch work has been crazy like shit!! And blogger is still having problems... I'm now considering if i should hold an exhibition for my photography. Actually, i don't know if i'm good enough for that. Future is getting bleaker and bleaker these days. And it seems that everyone's trying their hand at photography too. I'm feeling super demoralised too. I guess i'll not get a macro-lens dat soon and take the best i can using my current ones. Hehe... Maybe i should start t climb instead of love... I didnt make sense to me anymore

BLOGGER is having problems again...
crazy blogger...

i should stop drinking dat much....

so fuckin hurt

2009-07-27T01:03:00.002+08:00

all is lost. this blog was intially opened for him... I cant move on... I've tried my best.

this blog is offically dead frm nw on.

i wish and all i ever wanted was for u to love me like hw u used to. god let us come back and love each other more than anything again.

2009-07-21T18:08:00.003+08:00

No matter wad, i agree with bro... Who am i to ask for love? What am i in the first place?

this world hasnt been the kindest place... Thannks uh.

2009-07-19T23:32:00.005+08:00

this made me happy....

and im so unhappy...

the video

so so so so

KAWAAII!!!!!!

*screams*heeheee

by Makto Shinkai in collaboration with i dunno who

and.....

The title is called....

Gathering Of Cats

will never forget wad u said to me bro.... never will...

i forgot to bring my phone today~!!~

2009-07-16T13:13:00.007+08:00

nurses frm Silent Hill

Came in early for school today so.... I shall bloggg!!~
So many events happen these days... Fun and exciting!! My himegyaru was a success!! Yet.... With mishaps and big fights with baby boy...
First was the fake nails.... The Bloody jewels drop!
Then I accidentally step on my dress ribbons.... TORN!
Then my shoes.... The ribbon / Lace the length not long enough!!!!
But then again, eerything turns out alright... The crowd is ok with if.... If they dun, they cant do anything abt it rite? Oh and Doll's costume... Its the most awesome of the batch!! weee!!~ Oh ya... and i think Seri's outfit still outdo mine... Her's is prettyyy and i mean IT! Fernlyn's too!~

Pretty Fernlyn!
beverley and me

i love this pic

baby and me

Went sentosa too!~
sky ride....
and under water world...
Duggong sleeps upside down in a corner
Sharks all taking nap...
Stupid fishes!~
ahhh all sooo laazzzzyyyyyy

ahhh... i tink i'll update again tonite... lesson start!~
____________________________________________________________________

UPDATE!

Hee.... Watched Makoto Shinkai works on youtube... Goshhh... I bloody hell need inspirations!~ His old works were filled with a certain simplicity bitter-sweet yet you could watch it over and over and over again... I feel like watching his 5cm per second!! Anyone has it? Baby let me watch another shorts... Draw With Me... Made me cry after dat!! Damn sad la... Hee... I've always loved this kinda shit... I wonder if i can find more his short animations anywhere... I'm starting to love wad i do... I hope i can do it well this time... So does baby.... I hope ive made u happy today!~

oh ya this is HIM!~

and his ARTBOOK!~

im gettin it i swear.... im gonnaa....

LOOK FOR IT!!

wow u r such a flirt

and i dun care.

heh.

2009-07-06T12:36:00.004+08:00

Since i've got nothing to do, i guess shall update some nonsense in here... Keke... I "zhng" LAPTOP!! Looks like Huiping's one but i dunno if its the same thing anot... Waiting for COSFEST to start but i cant seem to find any suitable heels and stocks nwadays are the pre-order kinds . Not something great this time round. I'm gonna try himegyaru without the "beehive" hairstyle but i still dunno will I turn out to be... Hope dat i wouldn't fuck things up. Looking forward to Chalet and Cosfest!! One of the few tiimes in my liife i look forward to something...

Unless its meeting baby..Hee..

Sigh should have ordered the fuckiin heels sooner. Siian..

Had fun with baby at Cafe Cartell!! I should really try to being so self-destructive to myself... Should really stop thinking so much too...

i cant seem to UPDATE PICTURES!! i dunno why

Sorry baby...

dun push urself too hard in sch work k?

Felicia

pai seh always never update... I hearts u!!

2009-07-01T02:28:00.005+08:00

i dunno why but i'm feeling half crazed lately... shit.

wearing wigs feels super hothothot especially in this god-damn weather...

But u cant blame a girl to look pretty can u? I guess i have to find another alternative for my head.

Soah, Bride of The Water god is love man. The art is awesome.

I wonder how did the mother fucker draws them. Nah.. He's not a mother fucker.

His works are just fuckiing awesome। And Transformer are AWESOME all actions and no talk are good esp in this kinda movie। I dun wan robots to talk like a pussy yea? Megan Fox makes me feel bad... She's god-damned H-O-T। Even a girl thinks so. I'm ashamed to be a girl after seeing her.

Damn

ii dun wanna leave u.

2009-06-25T23:39:00.016+08:00

i took this pretty thing outside grandpa's neighbour's place... *flutter*flutter*
thank-god i can save this pic... its underexposed!

Went alot of places lately....

Met evangeline in the morning Went out with baby to celebrate his B-lated bday and our 1yr anni.. *im so useless*

I met Jinyan to "ton" at my place... Chatted alot abt stuffs.

Met Doll to shop the next day!!

And went to Baby's friend's BBQ had abit of fun... But i didnt tink baby did. SEE im so useless....

Took several pics during this period of time...

Oh Ya... Baby took me oon the ferry ride at clarke quay too!! Happy!~

Thanks ppl for talking to me and tell me to nt give up on life... Though i know i still feel this way.....

And im still very frustrated with myself, having attacks more than i used to... And the panics and fear made me almost going crazy... I'm pressing down... I'm holding on still...

My results for school are out too. Its a total fuckiing disappointment. I've lost my marks to my Developmental Study feel so yuan wang and angry at myself... But still, thanks to people helping me too... Otherwise, i would gotta RE or a fail... I tink i should try harder... Maybe a high credit this time... Sigh *its gonna be so hard*

I've jus realised dat i've lost a pillar to wake up every morning to live ever since grandpa's dead.... I have to start finding a motivation in life. I shouldnt be so dependent in the first place.

this lotus is actually rather small! *outside grandpa's place*

lotus!!

specky.... oohhh

i love this pic! *but i love u more*
nigel god the bottle tip sucker..

eeewwww....
nono. i tink i prefer u as a cloud making machine

on da bus!
do u like the present and the noodles?
ooohh BOOK!
tell me, which girl doesnt like CREPEs??
niceeee

baby boy and baby girl loves....

ferry ride!! As the boat rides by, there's some river fest thingy going on... And lighted boats by the river!! Nicee.... *regretted nt bringing my cam along... ><. Oh well... *shaky but can do* baby and me on the ride!! such a bad bad camera-girl.
BFF!~
strawberry milk-ice shopping and girl-friend. *smiles*

Doll, u r such an AWE-SOME FRIEND!

and with dat, I've caught u on CAMERA!~ neh-neh-ni poo-poo....

*hops ard...*

heee....

sorry baby i dunno hw to pose

i look like cheena in this outfit.... eeeeee dun like....

baby's grandpa's place

baby and me~!

in the lift!

can anyone see this pic? ooohhh im so meserised my this manhwa artist drawings.... Espically the background and flowers...
and i always wonder where can i go with my passion for these flowers.... should i start to learn drawing them more interestingly and pencil shade them? Or will i be wasting my time?
Future still seems to be blur... I still dun tink i can earn money by flowers... damn u flowers...! ><""

i dun wanna contact anyone anymore. ppl go away.

2009-06-19T15:02:00.002+08:00

I realise that i shouldnt hope too much.

AND I KNOW WHERE I STAND IN EVERYONE'S HEART

I'M SORRY PEOPLE,

I WILL LEARN TO CEASE EXISITENCE IN THIS WORLD.

AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DIE.

NOT ONLY WHEN THINGS HAPPEN.

buzzz... buzzz.... buzzzz....

2009-05-19T15:20:00.005+08:00

New BLOGSKIN at last! Done by my lover, felicia. Keke... She's super cute rite? Heh... Went crazy yesterday and decided to do a school girl look but i tink i ended up shocking the hell outta everyone... Baby been's busy nowdays.... Hardly have the time to be alone with him... Hmmm.... And my progress for school work isnt dat good. But did some design that i know i'm gonna love... Sorry for not updating much. I've been procrasinating too much lately. And spending too much on hp bills and nonsense. Super broke... So many things that I had to get. Cosplay, Himegyaru ( i tink), Cosplay wigs, Cosplay contact lens bla bla bla.... Shit... Money still doesnt drop from they skies no matter hw much i pray. LOL! I tink i should update more pics soon.... The interesting ones are from Fort Canning. *i should go there again soon*ahem*for school*
I wanna to pick SAGO SEEDS!!!!!
.... Oh yea... I didnt tink S would say and think like dat about me. I *insist* that i have never done anything wrong to him... Stupid liar. for fuck he tell lie?? lol. I hate immigration issues... SHALL update with pics soon.... My sch net is getting sloooooowwwwwwwwwwwww.... Wait, izzit my com???? The Notebook movie is jus bittersweet... kekeke but i tink A Moment to Remember is much better. Heh.

I'll add in pics soon. In a rush niao.... >..<

Fort Canning pictures:

charlene and dan... completely ignoring me... >< i tink this pic looks super chio. hahaha

i love this!!!!

applying the rule of one-third means making YY looking like..(up to u tink heh.)

fat!!!!!

charlene!!!

stupid nerdy day....

2 stupid cars refusing to let the other pass.... and stayed there for god-knows how long!!!!

uniform!!!

fuckin around with lucian's jacket!

a million of story can be told using one bench.... i should do photo manlipulation soon... if i happen to nt be lazzzyyyyyy.............................

LAO PO ahhhhhhh!!!!

21! does money drop from the skies??

2009-04-27T10:34:00.024+08:00

after all my laziness and proscrinating.... I've finally upload pics here!! some are super random, some aren't. And i realised dat himegyaru doesnt suit me at all... LOL. Cuz i know dat im not that pretty to handle it! Muahahha. Actually, i was crapping around.... Maybe im bothered about such things. There are things ive realised.... I really need a job and i've finally got 1! wee!~ but i hated it... To the core.... Yet, i know that i didnt have a choice. My weekends are gonna be burnt but i dun have anything to do during that point of time! So, its ok i guess. But i still dun like dat job!!!!!! Did alot on my bday actually. But no one got me prezzies. Only baby and evangeline did! And other that dat, bday wishes! LOL im happy enough that way. *grins* here are some pictures i promised and the ULTRA BIG ICE CREAM that made baby and i laughing like idiots. I wished he was that happy all the time... i was different when i first know him... so many things had happened but i love him all the same....

The random ones! :

Vivocity Captures!

it was there it self... I didnt do anything... >..<

overexposed? small kid. *i love water*

the big kid

i told u!!me!
lovers by the bay... My catch! kekeshoes!

weee!~

chinese garden!

i dunno why i looked damn sehhh.... >..<>

Jun Jie!! Ur mouth! muahahahah

My bday TAKES!!!

the day before

eh!! I show u something arh..

let me poke ur cheeks....

*poke poke*

my fatty cheeks!
elias a good picture leh! faster!
bday cake!! homemade!

the dress!~!

god-mode ICE-CREAM...
as big as my hand!!! and ultra nice.... this is 10 levels higher than the one above!
the topping filled with goodnes.....

Clearly proud of himself after finishing so much ice-cream....
oeii!! play with my nail polish!!
heheh....

happy bday to me!

2009-04-17T14:04:00.003+08:00

weeee!~ my bday had loads going up!! Loads of fun fun fun too!!!
I'm 21 and i guessing and im super older! Sobbb soobbb...
I feel change is comming and i dunno wad it'll be like...
I'm scared.
that things will change between us. And.......
it'll be over.

Maybe... Jus maybe i might be thinking just too much.....
Hmm.... Pictures uploaded soon!!!!

I dunno why is he getting pissed at small things....
i dunno... I dunno why im hurt at times too...
I dunno how much he loves me anymore.
i dunno...
i'm unhappy.
i dun understand anymore.
and yeah...
was filling up the wall putty
at baby's cousin office,
and i stood thinking....
with so many that's happening
hy, stalker bla... bla... bla....
esp the stalker, i know at times something reminds me of something,
but like everyone. its a god-damned SCAR and i find it a phobia and stuffs,
and with time, it can only get better.
with people around me, it can heal faster.....
y doesnt ppl understand how i feel
jus keep getting angry
and angry
and angry
and angry
at me....
im nth.
jus nth to u all
no efforts.
i love him more than anything else in the word...
happy bday to me....

Stupid things about me.

2009-04-01T23:32:00.005+08:00

Stupid things about me....

lose things all the TIME

lose my way at times

love the Movies

love english roses

hate garlic

Loves, spagetthi, smoked salmon, mushroom cream soup

love Romance Movies (ok thou i dun admit them)

crazy over anything cute,

and i like hello kitty

still believe in happily ever after

I'm stupid

hate my body

love flowers

love dreams

still think i can touch the clouds (i dunno y)

love rains and drizzles

love holding hands and kisses and fingers stroking my hands and cuddles and gazing of eyes.

believe in tender moments

still have friends i love

i hate screw ups

And i ALWAYS dun mean what i say

and i hate it

i hate the way i dress

i love to cry.

and somewhere inside me i still wish to live and

at times, i still wanna believe that life will get better.

and i admit dat im nt strong.

i did this cuz im bored. weeee!~

ilovehim ^^

DMC!!~

2009-04-01T21:48:00.003+08:00

Went Vivocity with baby and spent the whole day there... Super sweet today... No fights, no arguments, nothing... Utter sweetness. Till, at night. Said something abt S and i guess that kinda pissed him off.... Took pics at Harbour Front the park outside. Some version of his, and some of mine watched movie after that. I'm happy....

Seriously,
i sick of everything.
E-V-E-R-Y
s-i-n-g-l-e
s-h-i-t

and the past the keeps coming back like tumors in my brains, and plagues on my skin...
i cannot forgive and i cannot forget yet, i'll continue to learn.
anyway, ive deleted every single person frm my phonebook.
jus dun wish to talk to anyone anymore. so tiring......
i wish i could turn back time and get the past right.
and get everything right....

i'll upload the pics soon.
my 1000D baby is nt with me!~
no more the old me in school.

thurs: meet kore kurei
fri: baby!

no, i dun love s_____ anymore. only u.
if she was alive, she would be 5 mths
and a year had passed.
baby,
i know u have problems
and im trying my best
thou- i know i dun seem to...

dreams

2009-03-15T21:35:00.009+08:00

It rained super heavily today. And im down with flu a bad one damnit! Its always during the assignments time!! WTH! Drenched in the rain for awhile lol. Now, my stupid head hurts. I tink its the flu nt the rain. Went for shisha and drinks at the pub a few days ago... i dunno when though -..-'''. Had loads of fun... i tink im gonna put in pics instead. Too sick to do anything...

nigel and me!!

guess which is cooler? the game or the real shit?

shisha!!

breathing the smoke out!~

i do not look like xiao niang re okiie??

hummph all the little nao hia crazeee

without m/u!!

before going out... i went to the doc dat day~!!

i remember when niaoo...

its on 13th march'09
my specs!!! took on thurs too!
beer care for one? I cant believe i got

drunk on it... less than 4 pints i gone liao!!
wa lauu... damn diu nian. but the people at the pub are damn nice.and i drew another cartoon of the bartender for fun. He took it!~

now i understand what's with the beer and cheese woohaa

that guys love...

cheese, no need to say liao i defiantely good de

and beer ice cool one and relax at some awesome place.

Heniken anyone?

chicken rice, veggies, chicken rice de chicken, and chicken rice de soup!

awesome... cooked by baby.

zhenn ling and me on thurs!went to class late and got locked outta class. The worst thing that can happen. -..-'''

*suddenly felt how fast that time has been moving.... and i realised that i had to work harder twice to be even better that i used to be. the sudden need to owned the ppl around, the ppl that looked down on me. felt the need to be even better than them nt because they looked down on me, because i need to be better for my own good too. Realised that in this design industry, if one doesnt be the best. One will jus ended up being trampled. Second best isnt enough. Being average is even worse. I will always remember the machperson ite days....

i fell in love with wedding gown designs.... lalalala!~

2009-03-07T15:59:00.003+08:00

1. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
2. Place your trust in me. It's crucial to my well-being.
3. Be aware that however you treat me I'll never forget it.
4. Before you scold me for being lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me.
5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when it's speaking to me.
6. Remember before you hit me, I have teeth that could hurt you, but that I choose not to hurt you.7. Take care of me when I get old.
8. You have your work, your entertainment, and your friends. I have only you.
9. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be painful for me.
10.Go with me on difficult journeys. Everything is easier for me if you are there.

Remember I love you...

as collected frm xiaopingss blogg....

i love dogsss!

Change

2009-03-07T13:49:00.003+08:00

Sighh.... Its changing. Everything is... I hate change. Fucking hate them. Yet i know that there's isnt any choice.... He's busy with everything else. Literally didnt have enough time for each other.... I'm afraid of him leaving me.... I dunno if im sensitive or something. Its alway been that way.... I'm jus there to be with someone when there's unhappiness in them. Till everything abt their life gets better and good they'll end up leaving. Feels like shit. People aound dun read my blogg either. Nvm i'll jus do for me to see.... Oh yeahh i cut my hair again.

Anyway, weather was god-damned hot yesterday!! But had to get the things i need... And i seriously need to NOT lose my specs anymore!!
Went to a million and one places.

Suntec convention to view the carreer fair. (why muz i fill in the god-damned form????)

Bugis to get ANOTHER pair of specs (shit this is getting ex if i keep losing my stuffs)

Basheer for baby to get magzines and wei wei and me to look ard. I still like dat book i saw. Though i didnt quite liked some of the stuffs insde.

Bugis street to get a bag for myself cuz the old ones keeps spoiling! (i will NOT spoil my bag again though i've got shit loads of shit to carry) with a weird salesperson doing weird high-fives and handshakes.... I didnt buy frm him anyway. Not because he's weird. LOL. and i got psycho-ed my baby to get a backpack.

And fnally back to his new place. Poor wei wei went around shopping with us. Next time muz treat him for a meal le!

pictures will be uploaded soon.

wtf

2009-02-21T00:08:00.002+08:00

im going to die....
if this life is going to suck somemore....
im going to...........

nothing works.

CNY!!

2009-01-27T00:30:00.008+08:00

Happy CNY!! *whistles*

New clothes!

New pair of heels!

heh i like the heels part!

and the steamboat

*Whistlesss* weee!!~

We fought again. it was damn sad. but everything ok le. shouldn't fight that much. and i should think before i speak. sigh. but baby did something sweet!! he drew a portriat of me in my childhood!! Yay! but we fought wa lauu ehh.... sighh. at times i didnt tink i did good enough as a gf. should try harder. Anyway i dyed my hair! The first time in an obvious colour and baby mum help me do it!! Looks nice and the best part is baby's mum knows how to do it! And damn cute the way she talks! Heheh. Oh ya my parents didnt fuck me cuz i dyed my hair andi guess its kinda the first big change dat i did. went to buy super last min dress he help me choose everything shoes! Wahaaha. Cute! But its super ex! *faints*

i wanna do manicure! lol. ok i should do myself when im nt feeling lazzy. heh.

ok here are some of the random pics!-lalalala

baby w/o specs look super like bolt the hamster

to jade's bday at pasir ris chalet -baby's friend.

pics in class after lesson

the before make-up me

before make-up with the guy whom is forever stressed, dan and i still dunno why

the after make-up me

after make-up me with dan

its just happened to be on different occasions hor! I just managed to have them and put them together.

its nt like im damn bo liao or wad. heheh.
and on to huiping's wedding!!

*credits to darren*

i love the red dress!
who the hell behind come and spoil my pic?!!
samuel and his gf, felicia
baby and me!

may this wonderful couple be happy and blessed forever througout their lives walking hand in hand through thick and thin till they are gray and old through the many years of sunsets and rises...

weee!~

2009-01-13T21:19:00.005+08:00

Yayy! We had bbq on sat! Loved chicken wings and hotdogs! Brought my camera along but Soon takes them so that i could slack! Heh... I guess i've gotta take from him then!

Damn... Today sucks like fuck. I dunno why i cried like fuck.... Fought with my brother then in the end kenna fucked my dad. I also dun understand why i had to make this mean the world to me. I tink i'm fucking nuts. In the end, i was cryiing at how dumb and crazy i was. Okay i gotta keep me in check.

The "tonning " was interesting haha.... Never had one before. Baby ended up sick damn ke lian.

and i dun understand y i cant upload the dslr god-damned pics! knxbai!!!

somehow, i like this pic! thanks baby!
full outfit

peiling and me!!

and then she changed her clothes weeee!~

eoy'08 dolls!

im a freaking lazy ass... damn!

master ah blue and boyfriend playing guitar
shinzuki and belissa! (srry if i've spelt ur name wrongly)
bbq day the tonning ppl
clockwise from lower left. joey (Y U TURN UR BACK?), shiroro (SUDDENLY COME IN WA LAU EH MY SPEED ALSO NT DAT FAST),shun ming a.k.a shinzuki, Jun Jie a.k.a Ozora I dduno the guy name, elias a.k.a hibari_X (got thrown into te water and handphone gone case)behind him, John a.k.a JJP and my baby a.k.a nigel a.ka. nigelhimelf a.k.a boyfriend

ok la my skill still nt good... sobb sobb...

haha commercial guys siao one *this one is blur!
it was this COLD!!!! charcoal on metal tray it helps! towel on baby fell sick le!

the awesomely sleepy ELIAS!

the reward for tonning, SUNRISE!!

life's is an ass yet, its filled with the most beautiful earth. how ironic. >..<

and i've just realised that in order for all/most of the pics to be up, i had to upload them one by one cuz the files are too big!! And i thought that there's something wrong with my blog! How dumb! damn wast my time!

oh well. at least it's up!

and its supposed to be done 0on 12/01.08~~!!!

2009-01-01T18:43:00.004+08:00

Its new yr...

I missed the days.. When we are so happy. When we kissed by the sea... When we had fun at Sentosa. When we cuddled at Chalets and had morning kisses each time i go over to his place.

Nope we didnt end it.

Just...
me.......
Life's sick. I cant stop the inner demons. Ripping me off, tearing me, leaving me in a cave so deep i cant seem turn and run. He loves it. So as so to let people whom i've held so close to me to leave me. Showing me that when i fall it'll be the plunge. Stupid fights, fighting against him, against me. I wanna end this so bad.... Clarissa, grandpa, Chris~ Stupid even if i end this, the devil will smile his smiles, devouring my flesh clenchig his bony fingertips never allowing my soul to go.
As i ran and ran with darkness worse than nights, cages o dunegons his piercing eyes staring through my runs falling me ever so badly has the gods that i had seen in my mind had long forsaken me?

I feel so much better now... Something listened. Sorry baby make u feel so bad.

Duffy

Distant Dreamer.

Although you think I cope

My head is filled with hopeOf some place other than here

Although you think I smile

Inside and all the while

I'm wondering about my destiny

I'm thinking about all the things

I'd like to do in my lifeI'm a dreamer

A distant dreamerDreaming far away

From todayEven when you see me frown

My heart won't let me down

Because I know there's better things to come, oh yeah

And when life gets tough

And I feel like .. enough

I hold on to a distant star

I'm thinking about all the things

I'd like to do in my life

I'm a dreamer A distant dreamer

Dreaming far away

From todayI'm a dreamerA distant dreamerDreaming far awayFrom today

Yeah, I'm a dreamerOoh...I'm a dreamerA distant dreamer

Dreaming far awayFrom today

Yeah, I'm a dreamer

Ooh...I'm a dreamer

i shouldnt read crime library too much.

The cutest mummy in the world. Baby's cousin's wife

That love of my life

That Love of my life and the guy that saved me from boredom- Jacko

Cheers to the merry people!

Oh yeah shisha was fun! I feel like a fire extingusisher! And baby as a cloud-making machine! Oh yeah did i mentioned dat i had a canon eos 1000d?? I'm soooo lazzyy shall upload more pics next time

2008-12-30T18:10:00.001+08:00

BTW... New pics will be updating soon...

its gonna load damn long....
heh.

sighh

2008-12-30T18:08:00.002+08:00

day 2...
i feel the same as yesterday.

im NOT looking forward to the NEW year. Fuck.
its not gonna get better either.
school work is fucked up.
fuck fuck fuck.

did i not do well enough?
anyway, what rights do you have to ask me questions in a CONCERNING WAY? Makes me hate u even more. What a mother fucking asshole. Don't think that i dunno that u've been "copying" my ideas all along?
Im sorry. did i say COPY? i wonder why the original person didnt get the credit she deserve?

OH YA to the rest...

do i look like a SLACK to you? People forgot the nights ive gone through Oh. i guess it must be fucking FAKE. FUCK FUCK FUCK. U mother fucking people in my life just dun/ NEVER make me feel better at ALL. Yea im dirt.
with all that shit.

No u guys just dont make me feel better.
i listened to everyones problems and no one ever listened to mine
oh yeah i dont expect that anyway.
Im a DIRT i remembered.
Hah.
So yea.

FUCK THIS NEW YEAR.
i just dont hope that i get pass my birthday....

So Long~

2008-12-29T19:17:00.001+08:00

Havent blogged for such a long time... So many things had happened.

I wanna die.

2008-08-16T03:30:00.003+08:00

To Know Him Is To Love Him

by:amy winehouse

To know know know him
Is to love love love him
Just to see that smile
Makes my life worthwhile
To know know know him
Is to love love love him
And I do, and I do, and I do

Oh, I'll be good to him
I'll bring joy to him
Everyone says there'll come a day
When I'll walk alongside of him
To know know know him
Is to love love love him
And I do, I really do, and I do

Why can't he see
How blind can he be
Someday he'll see
That he was meant for me

To know know know him
Is to love love love him
Just to see that smile
Makes my life worthwhile
To know know know him
Is to love love love him
And I do, I really do, and I do

*my fave song weee!~*